Inspiration

The foggy days can sometimes lead to foggy brain.  Trying to find a spark that clears the fuzzy edges with a flash of inspiration can require heroic interventions.  Coffee only works sometimes.  Plans to get out of the home office and meet for lively conversation can occasionally do the trick.  Don’t you dare suggest running a 10k for a burst of clarity.  I will hit back.

I’ve been watching a young friend who splits time between households struggling with transition from one home and set of rules to another.  There’s the tears and tantrums coming and going and then the grown ups get tense and everyone is storming off to their corners in no time.  To my eyes, it’s sparkling clear that this child is having a really hard time with the constant shifting and is acting out of the instability of the day to day to do of life.  Then it strikes me:  so am I!   My stuck frustration, low grade moodiness and general tension and anxiety comes out of a lack of constancy.  Monday I’m here, Tuesday I’m there and I won’t know til 9 am where Wednesday will be.

While I love the types of work I get to do, it’s never more than a day or two in advance that I know if this will be a day of teaching, coaching, client development, writing or else wise “looking” for the next paying thing.  My to do list will include tasks from any combination of 10 categories and include interruptions that lead me to confused responses as I shift gears more rapidly than any mechanic would recommend, lest the clutch need replacing every 10,000 miles!

It’s like a light bulb for me – a little inspiration to consider how I can build my own resiliency and allow myself to feel supported enough that I can smooth out the ride and  save my transmission.  I’d want my young friend to know that there is an all surrounding love and THE SAME RULES apply from place to place.  More nurturing and less defensiveness.  More attention to the thresholds and sometimes just staying put instead of staying so busy for busy’s sake.  Seems reasonable that I learn the same lesson.  Maybe we could both use a transitional object? Like Linus and his blanket, I see a comforting image emerging from the haze…now I’ve got the insight to do what needs to be done!  

Writing Prompt:  In hard times I reach for…

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